A Taste of Money – The Red Skelton Show, Season 15 – originally aired October 19, 1965 – with Harve Presnell
A Taste of Money features Red Skelton as his con man character, San Fernando Red. With guest Harve Presnell, they perform a three-act skit. They also do a funny short routine about rodeo skills, and a hilarious silent spot of pickpocket Red repeatedly trying to escape from jail.
- As part of his opening monologue, Red Skelton does a pantomime of a doctor in a hospital. Doctor Jekyll, that is …
- Harve Presnell performs Let It Be Me and Mountain Greenery, aided by the Tom Hansen Dancers and Alan Copeland Singers.
A Taste of Money – Harve Pressnell, Red Skelton as San Fernando Red, Reta Shaw, Allison McKay, Shary Marshall
- Ruby’s husband needs an operation.
Ruby (Allison McKay): “Twenty years ago, my husband swallowed a fifty cent piece.”
San Fernando Red: (Red Skelton): “No change yet?”
- San Fernando Red as King of the gypsies.
Spectator: why do you wear only 1 earring?
San Fernando Red: (Red Skelton): “I’m only half gypsy.”
- San Fernando Red: (Red Skelton): “Put that (ten dollar bill) in the cash register.” [Ruby takes it, puts it in her leg garter, sound of a cash register ringing.] “We put it there because that’s where it generates the most interest.”
- Mrs. Throckmorton (Reta Shaw)’s husband, Poopsie, was lost at sea, decades ago. She’s willing to pay $1,000 to contact him. San Fernando Red more than happy to help!
- It turns out that there’s a $1,000,000 reward for finding her son before tomorrow morning — a long-lost heir. And San Fernando Red plans to present himself as that missing heir!
- Harve Presnell is introduced as her gardener. If the heir is found, he won’t inherit the million dollars …
- Harve Presnell: “I was really counting on that million dollars. A million dollars … that’s nearly 500 bucks after taxes.”
- Harve Presnell (to San Fernando Red): “With a handlebar mustache like that, your mother must have been a bicycle.”
- Harve Presnell: “I’ve been waiting for that money for 40 years … which isn’t easy when you’re only 26.”
- San Fernando Red comes in using the Mean Widdle Kid’s voice, in an oversized stroller.
- San Fernando Red: (Red Skelton): [trying to prove his credentials as the “true” heir]: “Daddy used to eat sardines in bed.”
Harve Presnell: Raw?
San Fernando Red: (Red Skelton): Red: No, he wore pajamas.
- Harve Presnell [talking about San Fernando Red]: He’s wanted in all 51 states.
Upstairs maid (Shary Marshall): There are only 51 states.
Harve Presnell: Brazil has applied for statehood, just to get their hands on him!
- San Fernando Red has pinned the donkey’s tail on Harve — his mother’s throwing him the third birthday party he never had.
Harve Presnell: You’re supposed to pin the tail on the donkey!
San Fernando Red: (Red Skelton):: Is it my fault that you gave me a choice of jackasses?
- Herve’s attempt to blow up Red with TNT birthday candles fails.
- San Fernando Red inherits … $3.
Mrs. Throckmorton (Reta Shaw): “We had some expenses.”
San Fernando Red: (Red Skelton): [reading document]: When Dad sunk forty years ago, he was wearing a rented tuxedo.
Red and Harve demonstrate (obviously rigged) sharp shooting, destroying plates, following the rule of three. It culminates with a stagehand coming out from behind the curtain and breaking the last plate with a hammer — prematurely. Harve demonstrates his rope skills to lasso a beautiful young lady. After which she gives him a kiss. Red tries the same, and the girl goes and kisses … Harve. “I told you, it works for me every time.”
A Taste of Money – Red’s classic skit
- Soda fountain at a drug store.
- Pantomiming the different people who sit at the counter.
- Pantomiming the different types of soda clerks.
- Customer: I’d like some ice cream.
Red: [hoarse] Ice cream?
Customer: Do you have laryngitis?
Red: No, just chocolate & vanilla!
- Lucille Knox as the next customer. “You seem awful happy.”
Red: I’m not happy.
Lucille: You’re whistling.
Red: I’ve got shoes on, I’m not walking!
- Lucille & Red do the routine from Thousands Cheer where the soda jerk gets sick just thinking about ice cream.
The Modernaires sing “The Customer’s Always Right”
Silent Spot – Jail Escape
A silent skit, with Red as the pickpocket prisoner who keeps breaking out of jail. Picking the guard’s (Ray Kellogg) pocket for the keys, going out the window (which swings open like a gat), etc. Pick pocketing the guard’s pocket watch. Going through the wall that swings open like a gate. Returning the guard’s pocket watch. His mother brings him a cake — with a large jackhammer inside! As well as a bomb! And he nearly digs his way out. A very funny skit!