Half a Loafer is Better than None, guest starring Ed Wynn – The Red Skelton Hour season 15, originally aired February 15, 1966
- Airplane maintenance workers discover that high octane fuel tastes like scotch. The following morning, one of them calls the other: did you burp? Well, don’t — I’m in Chicago!
- Red’s wife tries to get Valentina to tell her what Red bought for Valentines Day. Valentina: “Do you remember that ruby-encrusted heart pendant?” Mrs. Skelton: “He shouldn’t have!” Valentina: “He didn’t …”
- Wife: Why don’t you buy me a fur coat? I’m as cold as ice! Husband: That’s why.
Pantomime: Old Karate Expert, demonstrating for a new student. A very funny bit
Half a Loafer is Better than None – Act I
With Mugsy’s help, Freddie the Freeloader breaks into the explorers’ club, looking for somewhere to sleep. He’s found & captured by Colonel Jungle-Rot Freeloader (Ed Wynn). Who turns out to be Freddie’s long-lost father! There’s some funny prop comedy, with an elephant’s trunk and a ‘no vacancy’ sign in a kangaroo’s pouch.
Mugsy: Look, Freddie, somebody shot an elephant!
Freddie the Freeloader: And they say an elephant never forgets.
Mugsy: They don’t!
Freddie the Freeloader: This one did — he forgot to duck!
Police officer: Which is more dangerous, fighting with a lion or fighting with your wife?
Colonel Jungle-Rot Freeloader: Fighting with your wife! When the lion runs away, it doesn’t take half the community property from you!
Half a Loafer is Better than None – Act II
After some hi-jinks, Freddie is initiated as a Junior Explorer, and his father is going to take him on an expedition to Africa.
Freddie the Freeloader: I am Little Chicken. I faint at the sight of Animal Crackers.
Colonel Jungle-Rot Freeloader: He’s a little chicken, my wife’s an old hen, and I end up cold turkey.
Freddie the Freeloader: Milk as giraffe? I lost my job at the candy factory because I couldn’t milk chocolate!
Half a Loafer is Better than None – Act III
In Africa, they’re hunting for the Pooka — a polka-dotted gorilla. That Freddie accidentally becomes engaged to!\
Classic Red Skelton Sketch – The Babysitter
Caulifulower McPugg babysits the precocious child, Rodney. That poor statue bust …
Red Skelton and Ed Wynn on stage
The Silent Spot – The Millionaire’s Son Goes to Work.
- Red plays a rich man’s son, who becomes a klutzy bakery worker.