She needs a monkey to get into Heaven – Courtesy of Brian Hoffman, Red Skelton impersonator
Red Skelton joke:
I had a dream that my wife was at the Pearly Gates.
St Peter told her she needed a monkey in order to get into heaven.
So she s heading back down to earth to get a one and runs into me and tells me I need a monkey to get into heaven.
I told her she was NUTS and grabbed her by the arm and drug her up to the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter looks at me and says to my wife, I thought I told you to bring a monkey, not a baboon!