Red Skelton jokes on weather – a collection of short jokes and puns by Red Skelton, aobut the weather
- Do you know the difference between climate and weather in California? Climate is what brings the tourists out to California, and the weather is what drives them back!
- The weather’s been really cold. Down in Palm Springs it was so cold the other morning, I started to take the garbage out and it refused to go!
- And when the wind blows down there, it’s really murder. And then it comes from the South, that’s when it’s cold. And you can always tell a south wind, it goes “ooooo, you all!”
- For a month, Georgia has been asking for one of those frozen food lockers, and I gave her one the other morning. It was the living room.
- It was amazing how things get real cold when it’s a bit chilly out here, especially spoons. The other day I put my spoon down in the breakfast cereal, and it’s the first time I ever heard go — snap, crackle, and whoops!
- And people do the craziest things when it’s cold. Like I know one guy that drives around with a Rolls Royce convertible with the top down. I said, “Boy, you’re gonna pick up something”, and he did. Two blondes and a redhead! But he was rather disappointed — they were colder than the weather! (source: Absence Makes the Hate Grow Fonder)