If I Were the King of the Birdies [song lyrics]

Song lyrics to If I Were the King of the Birdies, written and performed by Red Skelton in A Royal Command Performance

If I were the king of the birdies,
What a change in this world there’d be
If I were the king of the birdies,
I’d give birds some dignity.

I’d build thousands and thousands of bird baths
Fresh soaps and towels every day
With hundreds and hundreds of bird dogs
To chase the cats away.

I’d give all of the birdies a nest egg
Clear skies to fly without grief
See they were fed three times a day
With worms on every leaf.

If I were the king of the birdies,
I would teach equality
If I were the king of the birdies,
No human would stand beneath me!