Freddie’s Masquerade – The Red Skelton Show, where Freddie the Freeloader crashes a masquerade party and wins first prize!
Freddie’s Masquerade – The Red Skelton Show season 3, originally broadcast November 3, 1953
Monologue
- In Walla Walla, all of the prisoners are being given sleeping pills. The warden was confused – he thought it was a session of Congress!
- I don’t know why everyone’s getting divorced. They just announced out here that smog is community property!
- And Zsa Zsa Gabor and George Sanders, truthfully I don’t know why they’re splitting up. They’re the perfect married couple – they hate each other!
- A fellow saw his wife going into a movie theater with another guy. In the old days, he would have gone in after them — but he’d already seen the picture!
- Red pantomimes how out of towners drive in California.
- Red pantomimes a woman driver.
Gertrude and Heathcliffe
- These two seagulls, Gertrude and Heathcliffe, they’re flying along – all of a sudden a jet plane goes by and Heathcliffe says, “Good heavens! Did you see how fast that bird was flying?” And Gertrude said, “So what? If your tail was on fire, you’d be going fast too!”
- The other day, Heathcliffe walked in and Gertrude was sitting on an egg that weighed about 15 pounds. He said, “Gertrude! Did you lay that 15 pound egg!” She replied, “Well, of course.” “That’s remarkable!” “What’s remarkable? What else could I do with it?”
Freddie’s Masquerade
In the main sketch, Freddie the Freeloader is given a “friendly” warning by police officer Ray Kellogg, to not get in any trouble in this rich neighborhood. There’s a fancy masquerade party at a mansion, and Freddie decides to go inside, and “masquerade” as a hobo. After all, he’s dressed for it!
Then, at the party, Freddie mingles with the upper crust.
And, at the party, Freddie is having a good time, making time with an attractive party guest dressed as a harem girl, then playing party games – with a slight twist.
Finally, it’s time to award the prize for the masquerade party! And Freddie the Freeloader wins! He’s not only dressed like a bum, he’s been acting like a bum the entire evening! But outside, the police officer arrests him anyway!
Ending
At the end of the program, Red appears onstage to hawk a new book, called “Vaudeville – From the Honky Tonks to the Palace” written by Joe Laurie, Jr., which says some nice things about Skelton’s days in vaudeville.
Cast of characters
- Red Skelton … Self – Host/Freddie the Freeloader/Gertrude and Heathcliffe
- Leonard Carey (Bombshell) … Party Guest as Police Officer
- David Rose and His Orchestra … Themselves
- Arthur Duncan (Tap) … Tap Dancing Florist
- Ray Kellogg (I Passed for White) … Police Officer
- Bob LeMond … Self – Announcer(voice)
- Isabel Randolph (The Missing Corpse) … the Party Hostess
- Benny Rubin (Income Tax Sappy) … Musketeer
- Valerie Vernon (Gog) … the Harem Girl
- John Vosper … the Big Game Hunter
- Jan Arvan (20 Million Miles to Earth; The Poseidon Adventure) … the Bullfighter(uncredited)
- William H. O’Brien (Maisie Gets Her Man) … the Butler(uncredited)
- Mabel Smaney … the Bullfighter’s Lady(uncredited)