Hobo a Go-Go, The Red Skelton Hour, season 15, originally aired November 2, 1965, starring Red Skelton, Audrey Meadows
- I went to Las Vegas – that’s about 300 miles as the dough flies.
- They say it’s 110 degrees in the shade. I’m no fool – I stay in the sun!
- I was sun tanning, and my wife said to roll over and she’d put something on to make me turn brown. I asked what, she answered, “Gravy!”
- Joking about how cold the air-conditioned rooms are.
- Two little kids are talking. One says that, when I grow up, I want to be an astronaut. Why? So you can fly around in space? No, so I can go 8 days without taking a bath!
- “The number your calling is not working” — no wonder, it was a government phone number!
- did you notice the new TV shows are all about funny wars? I served 22 months in the military and I never realized how much fun I was having!
Hobo a Go-Go
In Hobo a Go-Go, Dolores Dictator seeks American Aid for her tropical island. But her plan is disrupted by the arrival of Freddie the Freeloader and his pal Mugsy. They’ve accidentally emptied the money sacks, and hidden in there instead. And they’re accidentally take to … Santa Banana!
Mugsy (Douglas Fowley): FREDDIE! FREDDIE!
Freddie the Freeloader (Red Skelton): What’s the matter?
Mugsy (Douglas Fowley): Somebody offered me a job!
[Making coffee w/coffee beans and a hot water bottle.]
Freddie the Freeloader (Red Skelton): Do you have a sweet tooth?
Mugsy (Douglas Fowley): Yes.
Freddie the Freeloader (Red Skelton): Dunk it in – we don’t have any sugar.
[To hide from the longshoremen (“just our luck, they’re not on strike”), they hide in money bags. And, of course, they’re getting shipped overseas.]
[Our stowaway tramps are on their way to Santa Banana — an island with appeal (a peel).]
Delores Dictator (Audrey Meadows): We can’t even afford bullets for the execution.
Delores Dictator (Audrey Meadows): We have to do something — the firing squad’s tired of yelling, “Bang bang, you’re dead.”
Freddie the Freeloader (Red Skelton): I hope this country’s in as good shape as she is!
Delores Dictator (Audrey Meadows): Without this money, there will be a revolution. Do you want to see Santa Banana split?
Delores Dictator (Audrey Meadows): So that’s how Johnson’s getting rid of poverty — he’s exporting it!
[Freddy writes them a traveler’s check for $9 million dollars.]
Delores Dictator (Audrey Meadows): Traveler’s check?
Freddie the Freeloader (Red Skelton): You try to cash it, and I’ll be traveling!
Freddie the Freeloader (Red Skelton): [having been captured] What a crummy location for an island! It’s totally surrounded by water!
[Native is sending a message to the American embassy by bongo-gram.]
Freddie the Freeloader (Red Skelton): What’s your next number, Desi?
Delores Dictator (Audrey Meadows): Every week, America sends us $9 million in money!
Freddie the Freeloader (Red Skelton): What do you send them?
Delores Dictator (Audrey Meadows): The empty sacks for more money.
Freddie the Freeloader (Red Skelton): That’s more than more countries …
[Freddy and Mugsy on the run through the jungle.]
Freddie the Freeloader (Red Skelton): We shouldn’t have asked that parrot for directions — I have a feeling he’s part stool pigeon.
[They “stretch out” a tree to hide behind. “Rubber tree!”]
[Delores Dictator is using her pet alligator to track down the hobos. Why an alligator? Because it ate the hunting dog]
Freddie the Freeloader (Red Skelton) (about beautiful native): And they call this an underdeveloped country!
Freddie the Freeloader (Red Skelton): You wouldn’t shoot me in cold blood, would ya?
Delores Dictator (Audrey Meadows): Unless you’ve got time to warm it up.
[running joke about shooting down a monkey — the only pilot in their air force. 2nd time, gorilla comes to rescue “her” baby.]
Red Skelton & Audrey Meadow on stage
Red Skelton: Nothing goes better than Meadows and corn.
Audrey Meadows: Working and being a housewife are like eating pickles and ice cream — they just don’t mix.
[Demonstrating how actors think when they’re acting.]
Audrey Meadows: Red, have you lost a little weight?
Red Skelton: About 20 pounds.
Audrey Meadows: Look behind you, you’ll find it.
Classic Red Skelton Sketch – Willie Lump-Lump – Private Bloodshot Eye
- Willie breathes on flowers – they wilt
- He falls backward off chair
- He chases the new secretary around the office
- His wife wants him to bring home home rat biscuits. “You get her on the phone & tell her that if the rats won’t eat what they got, they can move out.”
- Secretary: You look tired.
Willie: I was up all night working on a case. But I finished it! I have no idea where I was or what I did, but I wouldn’t have missed it for the world!
- Reporter: I’m Brown from the Sun.
Willie; You look pale as a ghost to me!
- Willie: My dog’s a coward. He pays the cat for protection!
- Willie: [after shooting himself in the foot] Oh well, my toenails were too long anyhow!
- Willie demonstrates sharp shooting, destroying plates the secretary’s holding. Mirror. But his shots are out of sync with the items being destroyed!
- Insanely long desk drawer — prop comedy.
- Box from his mother-in-law, resulting in a punch in the nose.
The Silent Spot – The Helping Hand
- In the Silent Spot, Red portrays an elderly street vendor trying to help an elderly lady (David Sharpe) – a street fruit peddler.
- Accidentally hits a cop, thinking he’s hitting the man who cheated him. Gets a ticket, loses a pencil. Repeatedly.
- “Helping” the elderly fruit paddler, keeps knocking her down accidentally.
- Worm in the apple routine.
- Red “substitutes” the grocery store apples for the wormy apples, accidentally spills caramel on it. He then uses his pencils to turn them into candy apples, and she’s a success … While he walks away empty handed.
- The Letterman perform ‘Things We Did Last Summer‘ and ‘Walk on By.’
Cast of characters
- Freddy the Freeloader / Willie Lump Lump / Elderly peddler – Red Skelton
- Henry Corden … Doris Dictator’s henchmen / Grocery Store Owner
- Douglas Fowley … Muggsy
- Audrey Meadows … Dolores Dictator
- Peggy Rea … Woman on the street
- David Sharpe … Old Lady — Silent Spot