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The Eyes Have It

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Cauliflower McPugg gets his eyes examined by a near-sighted optometrist in The Eyes Have It

The Eyes Have It – The Red Skelton Show season 2, originally aired April 5, 1953

Magazine Stand

Instead of a monologue, Red demonstrates how different people read magazines at a newsstand. There’s a funny bit of prop comedy with Look Magazine as a pretty Lucy Knoch walks by. Then, how a man “quickly” reads a condensed periodical. Next, Red reads a Yachting magazine — and nearly gets seasick! Finally, Red impersonates a crook buying a Detective magazine.

Dance routine

The dance team of Allan and Ashton perform a dance routine. A very entertaining and energetic routine.

Allan and Ashton perform a dance routine

The Eyes Have It

Boxer Cauliflower McPugg goes in for an eye exam. It’s a very funny routine, especially with the near-sighted optometrist stepping on Cauliflower’s lines! So, he returns the favor! This skit eventually ends in a Tide commercial.

Skelton Scrapbook of Satire

Freddie the Freeloader wants to get a hangnail removed at the hospital. But after looking at his insurance policy, nurse Lucy Knoch informs him that it’s not covered. While waiting, he going into an operating room and steals everything:

  • The doctor’s stethoscope
  • Medical instruments
  • And the patient! (hidden for safe keeping in the waiting room couch)

The good news is, Freddie is covered for an appendectomy! So, the doctor will do the hangnail removal for free during the appendectomy!


After thanking the audience, Red ends with a short monologue about Neighbors.

Cast of characters