The Hobo’s Dilemma – The Red Skelton Show. Can Freddie the Freeloader convince a young runaway to make the right decision? Will Cauliflower McPugg throw a fight?
The Hobo’s Dilemma – The Red Skelton Show season 3, originally aired October 20, 1953
Monologue
- I’ve been out in the back yard all day smogging myself …
- Talking about the smog, I was at the beach the other day, it was so thick all the seagulls were grounded.
- These two seagulls are flying along, and one says, “There’s a beer can down there, and it looks like there’s something in it. Shall we?” And the other says, “Why not, Gertrude?” So they fly down and they have the beer, and a couple of minutes later, one says “Heathcliffe?” The other says, “Yes, Gertrude?” “Shall we fly around a little?” We’re gonna have to, we’re in no condition to walk!”
- Red concludes with a demonstration of how you can tell where visitors to California are from by the way they walk.
The Hobo’s Dilemma
The sketch begins with Hobos around a campfire, as one of them plays “Stormy Weather” on his harmonica. When the police are coming, they scatter, leaving Freddie the Freeloader in a boxcar. There, he eventually wakes up, does his morning ritual, and gets caught by a railroad cop! Who kindly gives Freddie five minutes to get out, before he’s arrested. But after the cop leaves, a young runaway comes into the boxcar …
Will Cauliflower McPugg throw the fight?
The Cauliflower McPugg sketch is set at Madison Square Garden in 1927. Outside the arena, Pat & Patricia Raymond do an energetic tap dancing routine. And inside the arena, Cauliflower McPugg’s getting ready to defend his world title! First he has to deal with reporters, then his manager. Then his wife Ruth (whom he doesn’t even remember) wants pin money — $6,000! “The price of pins sure has gone up!” Then his little sister Cabina wants money for candy – $3000!
Cauliflower McPugg: What happened to that candy store that I bought you last week?
Cabina: I ate it.
Then the corrupt gambler Minelli comes in. And he wants McPugg to throw the fight! His gang has already kidnapped Myrtle! “I don’t know no Myrtle.” And his wife Ruth! And his sister Cabina! “She’ll bankrupt you on candy!” Then …
Minelli: We’ve got your father.
Cauliflower McPugg: My father? My beloved father? Where’d you find him? We’ve been looking for the drunken bum for five years!
In a patriotic moment, McPugg stands up to Minelli, explaining that poor kids across the country look up to him. He worked his way up from the slums, by hard work. Minelli’s touched, since he also is a product of the slums. And he tells McPugg to go ahead and win the fight! And he’ll even return McPugg’s family. Then, McPugg decides he doesn’t want them back! He’ll throw the fight!
You can freely watch The Hobo’s Dilemma online at TubiTV.
Cast of characters
- Red Skelton … Self – Host/Freddie the Freeloader/Cauliflower McPugg/Gertrude and Heathcliffe
- Jan Arvan … Minelli
- Bernie Crawford … Supporting Role
- David Rose and His Orchestra … Themselves
- Jerry Hilliard … Supporting Role
- Adele Jergens (Day The World Ended) … Ruth – Cauliflower’s Wife. She want pin money from him — $6,000!
- Bob LeMond … Announcer
- Sammy Ogg … Jimmy Andrews-Hobo Sketch
- Richard Reeves … Railroad Cop(as Dick Reeves)
- Bobby Sailes … Supporting Role
- Beverly Washburn (Star Trek the original series – The Deadly Years) … Cabina
- Dick Wesson … Supporting Role
- Pat Rosemond … Dancer(uncredited)
- Patricia Rosemond … Dancer(uncredited)
- Dick Wessel … Assistant(uncredited)