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Red Skelton jokes on taxes

San Fernando Red and his box of questionable tax deductions in "It's a Treat to Beat a Cheat on the Mississippi Mud"

Red Skelton jokes on taxes – from San Fernando Red: A Man with a Heart of Stolen Gold


  • You know what an income tax collector is, huh? That’s a public accountant after the nerves have been removed.
  • Incidentally, the government’s not calling us taxpayers anymore. They’re calling us Santa Claus because once a year we’re left holding the bag.
  • You know what income tax is, don’t ya? That’s when you don’t have to be a topless waitress to lose your shirt.
  • Did you hear about the topless waitress that walked into the internal revenue? And she says, “I have nothing to hide.” They knew she was cheating on her income tax, but they let her go. You know why? They couldn’t pin anything on her.