Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle Of Dumb, The Red Skelton Hour with George Gobel, season 16, originally aired February 14, 1967
Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Dumb co-stars George Gobel. Red and George crack up on the seven seas as Forsooth (Skelton), a poor but stupid shipbuilder’s apprentice, and Christopher Columbus (Gobel).
Monologue | Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Dumb | On Stage | Songs | Silent Spot
- People say, “Who gave you the black eye?” Well, I got it from my wife, but she didn’t give it to me. I had to fight like the devil for it!
- Gertrude and Heathcliffe, the two seagulls, were talking. He said, “You know, everyone’s getting into politics. The Liberty Bell’s got a duck in it.” She says, “There’s a duck in the Liberty Bell? How do you know?” He said, “Well, everybody says it’s got a quack in it.”
- Valentine’s Day jokes
Red ends with a pantomime about Dr. Jekyll … on Valentines Day.
Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle Of Dumb – Act I
Forsooth Frumpkiss is an apprentice ship builder, driving his poor boss (Jan Arvan to distraction. “Coming, mastoid!” “You mean ‘master’ — a mastoid’s a pain in the neck.” “Coming, mastoid!” Forsooth then does a classic clown bit, picking up a long board and carrying it off stage …. And other the other end of the board, he’s carrying it! “You hold the mallet, and I’ll hold the spike.” “This guys asking for it!”
Queen Isabella (Francine York) comes in, carrying Christopher Columbus (George Gobel). She gives Columbus her jewels to pay for the ships, and after some slapstick, they’re off!
Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle Of Dumb – Act II
Soon, Forsooth comes aboard, jokes with Columbus about his height, just in time for Columbus to introduce the “cabin boys” that inspired his voyage:
After a shipmate drowns himself after an atrocious joke, and getting some ice cubes from a friendly iceberg for their mixed drinks, Forsooth drinks some 800 proof Tequila, and blows himself out of the powder room into Act III.
Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle Of Dumb – Act III
Forsooth has arrived a day before Columbus … And is acting as a bureaucrat! Can you identify yourself?
And, since Columbus has no means of support … Forsooth sends him back to England!
Red Skelton and George Gobel on stage
George wants to try out for the Dodgers. He demonstrates his impossible curve ball. So, Red tries to demonstrate his curve ball …. Which hits poor Francine York!
British balladeers Chad and Jeremy offer their rendition of “It Was a Very Good Year.”
The Silent Spot
Red mimes a clumsy, star-struck Hollywood carhop with showbiz aspirations yearning to be “discovered.” He unintentionally assaults a poor actor in Frankenstein makeup with food. Don’t worry, the actor gets even in the end. While trying to impress the talent agent, Red impersonates:
- Charlie Chaplin
- Shirley Temple
Before he’s fired as a carhop, and the talent agent and Frankenstein actor give him some payback.
[Updated October 10, 2022]