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Willie the Barber

Willie Lump Lump about to sneeze off his customer's toupee in "Willie the Barber"

Red Skelton does a hilarious pantomime on eating chocolates, Willie Lump Lump as a barber? San Fernando Red answers hard-hitting questions?

Willie the BarberThe Red Skelton show season 1, originally broadcast March 30, 1952


Red Skelton does a pantomime of his wife Georgia when he's brought her a box of chocolates

Red compliments columnist Louella Parsons for winning a humanitarian award from Mt. Sinai. He also thanks Jimmy Bacon of the Associated Press for a nice article on the program. Red next performs a lengthy pantomime of what happened when he brought home a box of chocolates for his wife, Georgia. It’s a very funny skit, demonstrating the battle of self-control against temptation. You know which side chocolate’s on!

The Skelton Film Scrapbook – Willy the Barber

Willy as a barber. As he says, he needs to wait for the tourist trade, since everyone in town’s wise to him! I really can’t blame them — would you trust Willie with a sharp object by your throat?

Friend: If there’s ever a depression and people want to cut their throats, you’ll do a landslide business.
Willie Lump Lump: Oh, I don’t think so … not as long as we have the boys in Washington, they’re cut-throatin’ businesses already, you know!

Friend: Howdy, Willy! What’s cooking?
Willie Lump Lump: Nothin’!  It always smells this way in here!
Friend: How’s business?
Willie Lump Lump: I’m going to have to wait for the tourist trade – everybody in this burg’s wise to me, you know!

Mrs. Lump-Lump: How’s business?
Willie Lump Lump: You trying to start an argument?
Mrs. Lump-Lump: How’s business?
Willie Lump Lump: [takes off his hat, puts it over his heart] Let’s have a little respect for the dead.

Mrs. Lump-Lump: For two cents, I’d go home to mother!
Willie Lump Lump: Aww, I’m sorry, gee I don’t have two cents.

The funniest part of the sketch comes when another customer comes in. It turns out that, like Willie, he served in the Army! Infantry! But when he finds out that the man was not a private like Willie, but a colonel!! Willy straps him down to the barber chair! But before he can do any harm, the sketch turns into a Tie commercial.

The Skelton Scrapbook Quiz the Candidate

Dishonest politician San Fernando Red makes an appearance on “Quiz the Candidate”. And like the professional liar that he is, he tries to appeal to everyone, pretending solidarity with coal miners, lumberjacks, etc. But the rest of the panel doesn’t buy it! To the point of throwing water in his face! Then …

Since the show is being sponsored by “Yummie-Yummie Pies”, you know what’s going to happen when Lucille Knoch brings out a big tray of pies! Despite Red saying they aren’t going to do a pie fight, that’s exactly what happens! Complete with San Fernando Red pieing the camera!

Cast of characters