She needs a monkey to get into Heaven – Courtesy of Brian Hoffman, Red Skelton impersonator Red Skelton joke: I had a dream that my wife was at the Pearly Gates. St Peter told her… She needs a monkey to get into Heaven
Red Skelton on exercise, during a stand-up routine.
From comedian and film star Red Skelton:Red Skelton on excercise
Kenneth Cawlor (Thurston Hall): No crashing the gates of Paradise, young man. In the vernacular, where’s your ticket?
Joe Renolds (Red Skelton): Sorry, here you go.
Kenneth Cawlor (Thurston Hall): Wait a moment, this ticket is for coffee – We’re selling sugar!I Dood It – funny movie quotes
Red Skelton told the following story:Red Skelton on hang-gliding
Rod O’Connor: You’ve got a nice tan.
Red Skelton: That’s not a tan, that’s the color I turn when the mosquitoes drain all the blood out of me!
Rod O’Connor: The mosquitoes were bad, huh? Why didn’t you use mosquito netting?Bad mosquito netting
As Red Skelton used to say, there were these two seagulls named Gertrude and Heathcliff:
