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Jokes

Jokes by Red Skelton on a variety of subjects.  He was known as “America’s Clown Prince” for a reason, and was fond of funny stories as well as outright puns!  Enjoy!

Bad mosquito netting – From the Red Skelton radio show, 9/3/1948, “Red Returns after the Summer” – Red Skelton and Rod O’Connor swap mosquito jokes!

Bad mosquito netting

Bad mosquito netting –  From the Red Skelton radio show, 9/3/1948, “Red Returns after the Summer” – Red Skelton and Rod O’Connor swap mosquito jokes!

Rod O’Connor: You’ve got a nice tan.

Red Skelton: That’s not a tan, that’s the color I turn when the mosquitoes drain all the blood out of me!

Rod O’Connor: The mosquitoes were bad, huh? Why didn’t you use mosquito netting?Read More »Bad mosquito netting

Herringbone suit – From the 1948 Red Skelton radio show, “G. I. Joe’s Memories” – where Red picks on his announcer, Rod O’Connor, over his new suit

Herringbone suit

Herringbone suit –  From the 1948 Red Skelton radio show, “G. I. Joe’s Memories” – where Red picks on his announcer, Rod O’Connor, over his new suit

Red Skelton: Well, Rod, you look good tonight – I like your suit.

Rod O’Connor: Herringbone.Read More »Herringbone suit

Red Skelton’s eye exam – From Red’s opening monologue on “The Red Skelton Show” (January 25, 1971) – Red talks about a visit to his eye doctor.

Red Skelton’s eye exam

Red Skelton‘s eye exam – From Red’s opening monologue on “The Red Skelton Show” (January 25, 1971) – Red talks about a visit to his eye doctor.

This doctor starts examining my eyes, now you’ve got to hear some of the conversation that went on. I said, “The eye’s making me dizzy.”

He said, “Well, let’s not blame it on the eye.”Read More »Red Skelton’s eye exam