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For two cents, I’d go home to mother
For two cents, I’d go home to mother — From the Red Skelton radio show, 1952, “Barber who is trying to improve his shop” – Red Skelton as the inebriate Willie Lump-Lump, a would-be barber
Shave and a haircut
Shave and a haircut — From the Red Skelton radio show, 1952, “Barber who is trying to improve his shop” – Red Skelton as the inebriate Willie Lump-Lump, a would-be barber
Bad mosquito netting
Bad mosquito netting – From the Red Skelton radio show, 9/3/1948, “Red Returns after the Summer” – Red Skelton and Rod O’Connor swap mosquito jokes!
Rod O’Connor: You’ve got a nice tan.
Red Skelton: That’s not a tan, that’s the color I turn when the mosquitoes drain all the blood out of me!
Rod O’Connor: The mosquitoes were bad, huh? Why didn’t you use mosquito netting?Read More »Bad mosquito netting
Gertrude and Heathcliff jokes
Gertrude and Heathcliff jokes by Red Skelton, about his seagull friends – flapping their wings, the ship of fools, and an elephant with a cold in the nose
As Red Skelton used to say, there were these two seagulls named Gertrude and Heathcliff:
A Critical History of Television’s The Red Skelton Show, 1951-1971
Product description for A Critical History of Television’s The Red Skelton Show, 1951-1971
The Red Skelton Show was on the air for 20 years, the longest-running primetime network comedy variety series on television. It was a top 10 series for nine years–an accomplishment surpassed only by Gunsmoke and Home Improvement. The series has a few unimpressive achievements too, such as becoming the first top 10 series to be cancelled by a network.
Here is the history of The Red Skelton Show, beginning with its debut in 1951 and its great initial success. It was one of the top five television series that year, and Skelton and his show were nominated for Emmys. The author then details the show’s decline in popularity; its move from CBS to NBC in 1953 and its slow rise back to the top; its glory days of the 1960s, when it became an hour long show and finished at number two for two different years; CBS’s surprise cancellation of the show in 1970 despite its place in the top 10; and the failed last season back with NBC. There are three appendices: Appendix A lists cast and crew credits for the show, Appendix B lists special guests by season, and Appendix C offers information on the post-Red Skelton lives of many of the shows principal players.
Read More »A Critical History of Television’s The Red Skelton Show, 1951-1971Herringbone suit
Herringbone suit – From the 1948 Red Skelton radio show, “G. I. Joe’s Memories” – where Red picks on his announcer, Rod O’Connor, over his new suit
Red Skelton: Well, Rod, you look good tonight – I like your suit.
Rod O’Connor: Herringbone.Read More »Herringbone suit
Red Skelton’s eye exam
Red Skelton‘s eye exam – From Red’s opening monologue on “The Red Skelton Show” (January 25, 1971) – Red talks about a visit to his eye doctor.
This doctor starts examining my eyes, now you’ve got to hear some of the conversation that went on. I said, “The eye’s making me dizzy.”
He said, “Well, let’s not blame it on the eye.”Read More »Red Skelton’s eye exam
Red Skelton on counterfeiting
Red Skelton on counterfeiting – (taken from Red Skelton’s opening monologue from The Red Skelton Show episode, Clem and the Dalton Girls, from Red Skelton – America’s Clown Prince)
Madam, I Love Your Crepes Suzette
Madam, I Love Your Crepes Suzette – song lyrics from “Dubarry Was A Lady“
Song lyrics to Madam, I Love Your Crepes Suzette, Music by Burton Lane, lyrics by Lew Brown and Ralph Freed (1943)
Sung by Red Skelton with Tommy Dorsey & his Orchestra (film soundtrack)
also recorded by Danny Kaye
No thank you,
No thank you,
No thank you, no!
I don’t mean to be rude,
But I’m not in the mood for food.
It’s lovely, it’s tempting, fit for a king, I know!
Your cooking’s a work of art,
But when you’re with me, why be so a la carte?Read More »Madam, I Love Your Crepes Suzette