If it weren’t for his wife, Edna …
If it weren’t for his wife, Edna, he would be a bum – says Red Skelton Originally published August 17, 1941, in The Telegraph-Herald – by Fredrick C. Othman, UP Hollywood Correspondent The girl we want…
Laugh, Clown, Laugh!
I Dare Say — Laugh, Clown, Laugh!
(originally published in The Pittsburgh Press, September 14, 1946)
By Florence Fisher Parry
Hollywood — I tell you you have to go out and get your story out here; it’s never in the mail or on the telephone.
I know, I know: millions are spent on Publicity in every studio, and the Important columnists have their “leg-women” to tour the studios for them, interview the stars second-hand, and telephone them the gossip items you read in all the syndicated columns.
But I, being nobody, prefer to find my own – they are under my feet wherever I go, stories I can never use, stories that I’ll hoard for a while until something happens that makes their telling just pat. And some, of course, I’m sending on to you right now.
But they’re never the stories you go out for; they’re never what you think they’ll be. How was I to know what I was going to find when they told me at MGM that Red Skelton was over on Stage 10 working on “Merton of the Movies,” and did I want to see him? Matter of fact, I didn’t. It was hot, I was tired, and I’m not a Red Skelton fan.
Or wasn’t. Count me in now, though.
Willie Lump-Lump and the Mongoose
Willie Lump Lump and the Mongoose – A cute joke from the old “Red Skelton Show”
Many years ago, Red Skelton told the following joke using his inebriate character, Willie Lump-Lump on the episode, The Skeltons At Home.
I’ve never seen anyone so high-strung!
I’ve never seen anyone so high-strung! A joke from the old Red Skelton radio show
Rod: I’ve never seen anyone so high-strung!
Red Skelton: You should have seen my grandfather.
What do you suggest now?
What do you suggest now? A joke from the Red Skelton radio show, with a surprise punch line!
Texas jokes by Red Skelton
Texas jokes by Red Skelton – Jokes about Texas, as told by Red Skelton impersonator, Brian Hoffman
Red Skelton: Is there anyone here from Texas? Yeah?! You can always tell a Texan, … not much, but you can tell em.
Southern hospitality jokes from Red Skelton
Southern hospitality jokes from Red Skelton – From Red Skelton’s movie, Whistling in Dixie, jokes about Southern hospitality and life in the American South
Carol Lambert (Ann Rutherford): I don t think it s safe down here. Someone was trying to kill us!
Ellamae Downs (Diana Lewis): It s things like this that ruin our Southern hospitality.
How’s that electric blanket working out for you
How’s that electric blanket working out for you – A series of ‘it was so cold’ jokes by America’s clown prince, Red Skelton, taken from his old radio show.
Rod O Connor: Tell me, Red, how’s that new electric blanket working out for you on these cold nights?
Red Skelton: Oh, its fine, it keeps me as warm as toast. Of course, when its time to wake up, it just pops me out of bed!
Red Skelton autographs
Red Skelton autographs – Taken from the old Red Skelton radio show – how small a sheet of paper?
Rod O’Connor: There were a lot of big stars there?
Heathcliff the seagull wants to be a stork | Red Skelton
Heathcliff the seagull wants to be a stork – from the classic Red Skelton radio show
One of Red Skelton’s favorite characters, the seagulls Heathcliff and Gertrude – Heathcliff wishes that he had a bigger bill and was a stork … but why?