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Merton of the Movies, starring Red Skelton, Virginia O'Brien

Laugh, Clown, Laugh!

I Dare Say — Laugh, Clown, Laugh!

(originally published in The Pittsburgh Press, September 14, 1946)

By Florence Fisher Parry

Hollywood — I tell you you have to go out and get your story out here; it’s never in the mail or on the telephone.

I know, I know: millions are spent on Publicity in every studio, and the Important columnists have their “leg-women” to tour the studios for them, interview the stars second-hand, and telephone them the gossip items you read in all the syndicated columns.

But I, being nobody, prefer to find my own – they are under my feet wherever I go, stories I can never use, stories that I’ll hoard for a while until something happens that makes their telling just pat. And some, of course, I’m sending on to you right now.

But they’re never the stories you go out for; they’re never what you think they’ll be. How was I to know what I was going to find when they told me at MGM that Red Skelton was over on Stage 10 working on “Merton of the Movies,” and did I want to see him? Matter of fact, I didn’t. It was hot, I was tired, and I’m not a Red Skelton fan.

Or wasn’t. Count me in now, though.

Texas jokes by Red Skelton -  Jokes about Texas, as told by Red Skelton impersonator, Brian Hoffman

Texas jokes by Red Skelton

Texas jokes by Red Skelton –  Jokes about Texas, as told by Red Skelton impersonator, Brian Hoffman

Red Skelton: Is there anyone here from Texas? Yeah?! You can always tell a Texan, … not much, but you can tell em.

Southern hospitality jokes from Red Skelton – From Red Skelton’s movie, Whistling in Dixie, jokes about Southern hospitality and life in the American South

Southern hospitality jokes from Red Skelton

Southern hospitality jokes from Red Skelton –  From Red Skelton’s movie, Whistling in Dixie, jokes about Southern hospitality and life in the American South

Carol Lambert (Ann Rutherford):   I don €™t think it €™s safe down here.   Someone was trying to kill us!
Ellamae Downs (Diana Lewis): It €™s things like this that ruin our Southern hospitality.

How's that electric blanket working out for you -  A series of 'it was so cold' jokes by America's clown prince, Red Skelton, taken from his old radio show.

How’s that electric blanket working out for you

How’s that electric blanket working out for you –  A series of ‘it was so cold’ jokes by America’s clown prince, Red Skelton, taken from his old radio show.

Rod O €™Connor: Tell me, Red, how’s that new electric blanket working out for you on these cold nights?

Red Skelton: Oh, its fine, it keeps me as warm as toast.   Of course, when its time to wake up, it just pops me out of bed!  

Red Skelton autograph & sketch

Red Skelton autographs

Red Skelton autographs –  Taken from the old Red Skelton radio show – how small a sheet of paper?

Rod O’Connor: There were a lot of big stars there?

Red Skelton's wife goes driving -  Red Skelton tells a 'women driver' joke about his wife ... and the poor pedestrian!

Red Skelon’s wife goes driving

Red Skelton’s wife goes driving –  Red Skelton tells a ‘women driver’ joke about his wife … and the poor pedestrian!

Red Skelton  joke:   My wife tells me she wants to drive.

She said, €”I can stop this thing on a dime.”

She did. The only problem was the dime was in a little old man’s pocket.