Red Skelton

She needs a monkey to get into Heaven

She needs a monkey to get into Heaven – Courtesy of Brian Hoffman, Red Skelton impersonator Red Skelton joke: I had a dream that my wife was at the Pearly Gates. St Peter told her she needed a monkey in order to get into heaven. So she s...

February 10, 2015 Tom Raymond Jokes

Red Skelton on excercise

Red Skelton on exercise, during a stand-up routine. From comedian and film star Red Skelton:

February 9, 2015 Tom Raymond Jokes

I Dood It – funny movie quotes

Red Skelton, Patricia Dane, Eleanor Powell & Thurston Hall in I Dood It

Funny movie quotes from I Dood It!(1943) starring Red Skelton, Eleanor Powell Kenneth Cawlor (Thurston Hall): No crashing the gates of Paradise, young man. In the vernacular, where s your ticket? Joe Renolds (Red Skelton): Sorry, here you go. Kenneth Cawlor (Thurston Hall): Wait a moment, this ticket...

February 9, 2015 Tom Raymond Jokes

Red Skelton on hang-gliding

Red Skelton told the following story: A fellow told me he was going to hang-glider school.

February 4, 2015 Tom Raymond Jokes

What’s your forte?

What’s your forte? From the Red Skelton radio show, with Red playing Bolivar Shagnasti, interviewing a new performer for his circus

January 31, 2015 Tom Raymond Jokes

Barber trying to improve his shop

Willy Lump-Lump - barber trying to improve his business

Barber trying to improve his shop – From the Red Skelton radio show, 1952, “Barber who is trying to improve his shop” – Red Skelton as the inebriate Willy Lump Lump, a would-be barber

January 30, 2015 Tom Raymond Jokes

For two cents, I’d go home to mother

For two cents, I’d go home to mother — From the Red Skelton radio show, 1952, “Barber who is trying to improve his shop” – Red Skelton as the inebriate Willy Lump Lump, a would-be barber

January 29, 2015 Tom Raymond Jokes

Shave and a haircut

Shave and a haircut — From the Red Skelton radio show, 1952, “Barber who is trying to improve his shop” – Red Skelton as the inebriate Willy Lump Lump, a would-be barber

January 28, 2015 Tom Raymond Jokes

Bad mosquito netting

Bad mosquito netting – From the Red Skelton radio show, 9/3/1948, “Red Returns after the Summer” – Red Skelton and Rod O’Connor swap mosquito jokes! Rod O’Connor: You ve got a nice tan. Red Skelton: That’s not a tan, that’s the color I turn when the mosquitoes drain...

January 27, 2015 Tom Raymond Jokes

Gertrude and Heathcliff jokes

Gertrude and Heathcliff jokes by Red Skelton, about his seagull friends – flapping their wings, the ship of fools, and an elephant with a cold in the nose As Red Skelton used to say, there were these two seagulls named Gertrude and Heathcliff:

January 26, 2015 Tom Raymond Jokes

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